How To Start Over

Woman Escapes Her Abusive Husband By Changing Her Identity

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This is the story about Jennifer. Her second name has been withheld to respect her privacy issues. Jennifer has tried to escape and leave her old life behind. For five years, she has been married to an abusive husband.

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In 2014, while on a plane from Texas to Florida to escape her abusive husband, she was with her two sons. She says, “no matter how far I was, I felt like he was next to me and he can harm me anytime.”

She says it all, it has never been easy. Earlier, she will escape and then return. She reveals why it sometimes takes too long to get freedom, and a number of things you can learn from Jennifer’s experience. It may seem illogical that an abused woman will continue returning to her husband. She only managed to escape on her sixth attempt. In fact, research shows that two-thirds of abused women who escape their abusers will go back in less than two years.


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Jennifer tells us this is a process. For her, it went to an extent of changing her identity. Her abuser made it impossible for her to leave by controlling her over her life. Her two sons, though young mattered a lot. She never wanted to raise them alone. After changing her identity, she secured a job is a mid-sized restaurant. Her culinary skills helped her get a promotion to become the chef. During her spare time, she does online jobs to raise school fees for her two sons.

She has undergone plastic surgery once to conceal her true identity. Though he has never come face to face with her former husband, she knows from the social networks that she is being searched by her abuser. She has undertaken some courses to help her acquire self-esteem and confidence needed in order not to return to the previous life of domestic abuse.

She tells of her a life with the abusive husband. She had taken control of everything including her friends and car. She even feared going to the nearby food store without worrying of getting a call from the husband. Any time he called he would ask her what she was doing and where she was. With time she realized the husband had closed the world for her. She was only taking care of the husband and disconnected from the real world.

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She made plans to escape with the help of her sister. She picked her at the airport, helped her with accommodation and changing the identity. Now her life has changed and that of her children. She says that she wanted to do things that will help women have an opportunity to change their world and that of their children forever.

Although Jennifer feels that she would have left sooner. She understands that the step was never that easy. This is because, she was never allowed to work and she never had any source of income. Therefore she had nowhere to go and with the kids?

Resources:

http://ncea.aoa.gov/FAQ/Type_Abuse/

http://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence

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